I have regrets.

After a year of going without FreeCell on my mac, I caved.  I downloaded the thing a mere day ago and I’ve already played at least a hundred games.  It kind of calms me in a way.

So I’m looking at my stats, pretty displeased they weren’t perfect.  And then it hits me, I can just replay all the games I’ve lost until I win each and every single one.

So I’m in the process of playing this game and I start thinking about how this ridiculous thing I’m doing isn’t that far off from the plot of Being Erica (an incredible Canadian TV show mentioned in my last post So I’m watching).  Essentially, Erica (the main character) is an unemployed, frazzled woman in her mid twenties who hits rock bottom.  There she meets her soon-to-be magical therapist who comes to instruct her to write a list of regrets and proceeds to send her back in time to correct each.

So naturally, what I’m saying here is that I must simply going to go back in time…

Alright buddy, now before you go throwing your hands above your head convinced I’ve somehow managed to misplace the two and half marbles I had left rolling around in noggin- chill out.

The list thing isn’t a half baked idea either.  I’m sure it would sound even better if I were half baked right now.  But I’m not.  So here’s what’s up.  I’m making a list of regrets.  Once upon a yesterday, I would have insisted in a very stern fashion that I hadn’t any regrets.  In many ways, I don’t. I recon all the stupid shit I’ve concocted over the years has contributed to the ridiculous person I am today. All that trouble I had with bladder control in primary school- character building! The time I ran away from home and hid under a car? Spirit strengthening!

But alas, the word regret has many connotations; some of which, until tonight I was unwilling to accept.  But let’s grind and shove and beat and love because I can say it. I have regrets.

I figure if I can pin point the things I may have done differently, I might come to do differently.  This is the day, you’re life will surely change….

….and if it doesn’t, well at least I’ll have a shipping container full of material for this thing I call a blog.


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