Watching Rove LA..

What the fuck has my life come to? Fuck this I’m going to bed. I can dream shit better than this. Advertisements

Must learn true size of own body

So I jammed myself into the corner of my bed frame again. I swear, I do this on a ridiculously frequent basis. It’s like I don’t know the parameters of my own body. I think I’m driving a hatchback when I’m really a sedan. Anyway, I’ve got a welt the size of my foot on … Continue reading

Things you say in your head and things you say on Facebook

Okay so there’s things you say in your head and then things you say on Facebook.  This is important to note because i’d say roughly 70% of you reading this are yet to truly internalize that morsel of wisdom.  Ie.  You’re over sharing motherfuckers. But let’s move on. My pal sends me a link entitled, The … Continue reading

Untold Story: Ninja’s on Burqas

It’s safe to say the debate surrounding the burqa doesn’t appear to be resolved anytime soon. After all, A Current Affair would prefer their go-to stories remain topical. So you’ve heard there’s legislation overseas forcing burqa donned women to remove said garment in certain identification processes. Now it’s time to see the side of the … Continue reading

Images of New Orleans Neighborhood

Check out more images.

Ex flame reappearance

So I was sitting on the couch taking a rather lengthy break from work when my ex flame appears on Today Tonight. The story’s about people being conned by a door-to-door salesman who convinces them to change their energy provider. So he’s there doing that wanky reenactment explaining the salesman promised him $300 off his … Continue reading

Ordered banana bread

From this cafe before work right. The girl mentions because it’s gluten free, it costs a little more. No problem. I wish she mentioned that because it’s gluten free it tastes like a turd bucket.

So I’m going to a meeting at Channel 10 today..

And I just keep thinking, ‘dont be a troll dont be a troll dont be a troll’. Totally stopped myself from taking the biggest handful of Starburst at Clemenger BBDO yesterday. If thats not a good sign, I dont know what is.

Riding bikes with Biscuit

I had this dog right.  I named him biscuit (big surprise, I name it after food).  Anyway, I made that poor fucker ride my bike with me.  He didn’t sit in the basket up front; When I say he rode my bike, I mean I put his hind legs on the top tube and his … Continue reading

Going to do this to my kids when I have them.

Warning civilians of my coming

Troll’s play

It’s that moment when I tell people my mother and I chase each other around the house and give a super duper wedgie when we catch the other (re: I chase my mother around the house and she hides from me).  In that moment their eyes dart from side to side; Originally, I thought it … Continue reading

Brangelina’s Spawn.

“I rolled over and picked up Us Weekly magazine off the floor. The cover had a picture of Angelina, Brad, and their little Eskimo son, Maddox. I saw staring at the photo, wondering why this little boy looks so pissed off in every picture. At first I thought he was just pissed about his Mohawk, … Continue reading

Baby Troll

This is my favourite image in the entire world. I chortle and splutter every time. When I die (re: am pushed off a cliff), I hope to come back as this nugget. Make it happen.

I think my favourite thing…

in life is when I’m driving behind an asshole on the freeway and they tailgate everyone.  So I just hang behind them the entire way and they do alllll the jerk work for me.  Best.