When I was in preschool…

I would bite my best friend.  Like we were good pals and stuff, but I’d bite her on a semi-regular basis.  Biting aside, I mustn’t have been too awful a friend cos we maintained a friendship for over 10 years.  Needless (or completely necessary) to say, I stopped biting her as I grew older but … Continue reading

So I’m going to a meeting at Channel 10 today..

And I just keep thinking, ‘dont be a troll dont be a troll dont be a troll’. Totally stopped myself from taking the biggest handful of Starburst at Clemenger BBDO yesterday. If thats not a good sign, I dont know what is.

Riding bikes with Biscuit

I had this dog right.  I named him biscuit (big surprise, I name it after food).  Anyway, I made that poor fucker ride my bike with me.  He didn’t sit in the basket up front; When I say he rode my bike, I mean I put his hind legs on the top tube and his … Continue reading

And for the record, I do not have Chlamydia.

Okay, so I could sit here and pretend all my ridiculous antics happened in school and I’ve grown up to be a perfectly reasonable human being.  Well I’d be lying.  So let’s cut the horseradish and I’ll tell you a fairly recent story about why I’m still ridiculous and should be put outside. So I … Continue reading

Leafy fellows on the brink of death

So I have my last exam tomorrow and then I’ve got to pack up my shit and head home.  The main concern is fitting all my shit in my tiny car.  I have a whole lot of shit.  And then I have these plants.  These two pathetic plants I keep in my room. One’s coriander … Continue reading

Turns out I was a real asshole in year 7.

Okay so another one from year 7. Turns out I was a real asshole that year. So every year in high school, they send round several cards in homeroom for all the yr12 leavers and you’re required to sign the card despite not knowing half of those bitches. So the card comes round and I’d … Continue reading

Lord of the Trolls

Yeah okay Kanye, calm your mofucking farm.

Baby Troll

This is my favourite image in the entire world. I chortle and splutter every time. When I die (re: am pushed off a cliff), I hope to come back as this nugget. Make it happen.